But it has always felt like I was there…

It was 1967. I was 4. For a couple of years I had been going to a daycare place a couple of streets over from my grandparents’ house. I never liked being there. The owner and her daughter were mean and would spank us or threaten to spank us over the most trivial things. One Thursday the owner read some story to us about a farm. Then she had us line up single-file and she asked us where cows were found. The thing is, if you didn’t give her the answer she wanted you got your hand swatted with a 12″ ruler.

Every kid was saying the wrong thing. There was even a girl ahead of me who said, “in the country where the farms are,” and she got swatted. I had seen a few Tarzan movies and probably had looked at one or more of the comic books. So when my turn came up I said, “In the jungle.” She hit my hand several times with that ruler, and it stayed sore the rest of that day. When she was done with her interrogation of the last child in the line she told us that a cow is found on a farm. I may or may not have seen African buffalo in the movies, but the female of the species is referred to as a ‘cow.’

After I got back home I told my aunt that my hand hurt. It was red but not swollen, as far as I can remember. She asked what happened and I told her that the woman read us a story and hit us if we answered a question wrong. My aunt told my mom and grandmother, and they had to talk my mom down from going and confronting the woman. And I started going to a different facility after that.

I have a memory of  my aunt coming to me and telling me that they were taking me to this woman’s home to watch me for a while, while the adults all went and did something. I remember being there for several hours. I did not trust the woman, and I was scared of her. Three or four hours seems like an eternity to a 4-year-old. It was so long that I started crying. And eventually my aunt came back to get me.

Recently I told my mother about that day from 50 years ago, and I asked her if she remembered what everyone was out doing that necessitated leaving me with that woman after what had happened. She said that they hated that woman for what she did and that none of them would have ever taken me to her home to babysit me. She suggested it was either a dream or something my mind cobbled together due to trauma. I have bits of memories from dreams over the years. This has always felt like it actually happened. There wasn’t anything ‘off’ about the surroundings like you’d have in a dream. kind of the way you can tell the CG effects in a movie from actual scenery outside.

I’m going to take my mom at her word, that they wouldn’t have put me through being babysat by that woman. I may have in fact dreamt it but it didn’t fade like most of the other dreams I’ve had, and it’s always felt so real.

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Zombies: Who are they?

I’ve been paying attention to alternative media for about 7 years now and I’ve been part of the prepper/survivalist community for over 4 years. In that time, the word “zombie” has come up a lot. I’ve said this to people before, but not very many folks seem to be listening.


It would be difficult to count the number of different ways people view and believe in the apocalypse. Hollywood has had a huge sway on the minds of the public and many people think about reanimated corpses staggering around attacking and eating the living. Movies present a variety of reasons for this, and unless you have your own island stocked with supplies, at some point you’re doomed.

Setting side all that, and looking at something that is more likely to happen, namely an economic collapse, what is a zombie? It’s us. Anyone who can be affected by the money and systems of support no longer being viable is a zombie. These are people who are moving from region to region. They’re going to be scared, broke, hungry, thirsty, tired. and desperate. You may have thousands of rounds of ammunition stocked up along with food, water, and other supplies, but how much compassion do you have on hand? Huh? How much understanding?

I’m not saying don’t prepare, or return to the slumbering mass of sheeple out there. I’m not saying throw open your pantries to the wandering horde. I am saying that compassion and understanding are part of your humanity and if you lose that, what in Hell is the reason for preparing? They’re not signs of weakness. You might think that you can set aside those things until the crisis is over and then return to them. You might, short term. But humans aren’t very good managers of unplugging from consciousness and it doesn’t take much for a crisis to go from short term to long. So add these things to your preps. You’re going to need them.