No. I am not okay.

My father has been in the hospital for over a month, with a week in the middle, in a nursing facility for rehab. Most of the time he has been bedridden. It really doesn’t look good, and I have no idea how long he has.

Every time I post an update somewhere, people ask if I’m okay. I appreciate the concern but I don’t like being asked that because I don’t have a simple answer. I don’t like that question because I feel like I can’t answer honestly in an off-the-cuff fashion like the way people say “fine.”

It’s complicated. And most people who ask you how you’re doing in social settings are looking for a one or two word answer. They’re not expecting a full buffer-dump of details about all of the crap you’re dealing with.

Right now I am extremely tired. I’m stressed out more than I have been in my entire life. I’m trying to maintain a job, make sure there’s food in the house, get my mom to her appointments when she has them, check on my dad, and make some very unpleasant and difficult decisions on his behalf. I’m also trying to take care of myself, pay my bills, and get out and spend time with friends and in nature, and get as much rest as I can. I am probably dealing with a certain amount of depression and anxiety. I’m seeing someone monthly to talk that out. But none of this will begin to resolve itself until my dad is better.

I know everyone has their hearts in the right place when they ask, but when I see the question “Are you okay?” my first reaction is to roll my eyes.

I’ll be okay, just not right now.

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Toxic people you should just get rid of

  1. Those who spread negativity.
  2. Those who critcise you all the time.
  3. Those who waste your time.
  4. Those who are jealous.
  5. Those who play the victim.
  6. Those who don’t care.
  7. Those who are self-centered.
  8. Those who keep disappointing you.

H/T: The Minds Journal

Uncovering the masterpiece

GOALS

self sculpturing The trouble with this particular type of sculpture is that the human body is not a rock or blob of clay. You progress so far and then hit plateaus where the more you strike the chisel the less material you remove. And it’s not always easy to break out of those situations. This is discouraging.Some people have made progress with “muscle confusion” or routine disruption programs such as P90X.

Whenever I have hit a plateau in weight loss I’ve wished I could maintain the weight but quit exercising for a while so that when I did resume, the weight loss would reengage. It seemed to work, at least in my head, but in practice I have ended up gaining weight because I didn’t come up with a way to manage the process. I think the answer is in reducing the activity while making adjustments to the diet.

I’ll have to work on this.

Sleep improvement from earthing

BEFORE AND AFTER

Sleep Comparison 053115 and 091115Using the UP24 fitness tracker in sleep mode, I have data from before and after earthing. I slept for nearly five and a half hours without getting up to use the bathroom. That length of time is significant in and of itself because one of the problems with being diabetic is waking up to urinate several times a night. I don’t have blood sugar info for these dates. Blood sugar levels do matter in these cases because high glucose levels cause one to pee more often, even during the day. EMF interference from home wiring is a significant factor. The image on the right simply looks less chaotic.

Looking back, I have had problems sleeping for decades, long before I developed diabetes. With normal blood sugar levels I wasn’t getting up as often, but there were many days when I’d be sleepy during the day, even nodding off at work. Even though the technology existed to fix the problem, I didn’t know what it was. I just thought I wasn’t able to get enough sleep.

For the next “experiment,” I’ll have a “control” night where I don’t use the grounding strap, and a night with it, and I’ll take blood sugar measurements before and after.

Liver Cleanse

Looks like I’ll be needing to do the 2-week liver cleanse again. I drink fairly regularly but not heavily. My diet and the obesity/diabetes are the main causes. I did this about a year and a half ago and everything has been fine until a couple of weeks ago. There are capsules to take twice daily along with a magnesium-oxygen supplement and of course, water. The idea is to turn the fat-solubile toxins into water-solubile ones so that they can be more easily removed from the body. Then we need to look at not taking in the toxins in the first place but that is a more difficult issue.