All that was ever missing was the cheesy houndstooth coat

Sometime in ’83 after I said the prayer, someone asked me if I wanted the people I was talking with about Christ to have a good understanding of “the message,” or to just hear it. Since I was new to all of this and was trying to defer to “the experts” (people raised in the church or who had more experience with this evangelism crap) I asked someone the same question. They said, “Well, I think they just need to hear it. There’s too much at stake. And the lord could come at any moment.”

Well 35 years have come and gone and still no ‘lord.’

If there’s really that much ‘at stake,’ a loving god would want you to have a good understanding of what you’re committing your life to. A loving god would not want to just ram it through like a high-pressure, door-to-door sale. And the more I think about the years before I converted, when I was dealing with the Campus Crusade guys, that’s what it feels like.

Like I said, it’s been over 35 years. And a couple of years ago I decided I don’t want the vacuum cleaner anymore. It never worked very well, and I’d rather just pick up a broom and a dustpan, and sweep.

Advertisements

Excuse me. I’m trying to eat here.

I hate proselytizers. The few times I did it when I was a Christian I didn’t like, and I don’t like having it done to me. I was sitting in one of my favorite Asian buffet spots, minding my own business, and eating when a woman at a table catty-corner to me came over and dropped off a paper business card. I was annoyed, but thanked her and went back to eating. I went and got another plate, and one of her companions came over with a full tract. This is the 2nd time in twenty minutes that my lunch is being interrupted with this Christ-crap. I said very curtly, “Thank you.” She finally went back to her table and I was able to continue eating.

You are under orders. I get that. Preach to everyone and baptise everyone. I also don’t give a fuck. Interrupting someone’s meal with any kind of a sales pitch is rude, and it just fucking sucks.

I will not be as civil next time.